Top 10 NBA Nicknames of All Time

[KingInTheWest]

Here’s my list in reverse order: 



10) Jason “Jet” Terry and Chris “Birdman” Andersen (tie): The nicknames themselves wouldn’t be that remarkable but they were accompanied by a great little flying dance whenever they made a big play or entered the game. That was cool. Mark Jackson might have made this list too if he had a good nickname to go along with his arm cross that he formed late in his career after hitting big shots. 



9) Ervin “Magic” Johnson: This is literally the perfect nickname for Ervin. The best supercomputer in the world couldn’t have come up with a better one. ‘Nuff said. 



8) Michael “Air” Jordan: Again, the perfect nickname for early career MJ. Loses points because this nickname seemed to fall out of common use over time.

7) Paul “the Truth” Pierce: This makes him sound like an important dude. He was an impressive, important player on the court.

6) Kevin “the Big Ticket” Garnett: I guess I had Celtics on my mind so why not put another one on here? This gets extra points because it’s so much better than his first nickname (anyone remember “da kid”?) Not sure that big ticket really makes a lot of sense, since a ticket to get you into the arena works just as well no matter its size but whatevs.

5) Shaquille “the Big Aristotle” O’Neal: Nobody in the history of the NBA had more nicknames than Shaq and no-one ever will (this is a fact). I like “diesel” but Big Aristotle is just hilarious and shows how good his sense of humor was. Bonus points because I have degrees in philosophy that did exactly what you’d expect them to do for my career.



4) Robert “Chief” Parish: Yes, he looks a little like chief in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. But his stoic demeanor on the court also helps make this apt. I predict that no future basketball player will ever share this nickname so it gets bonus points for uniqueness.



3) John “Hot Rod” Williams and John “Hot Plate” Williams (tie): What make “hot rod” so great is how he got the nickname (as a child, he would slide around on the floor making racing car noises). “Hot plate” is kind of mean and I don’t know how many people used it to his face, but there must have been dozens of people who said ‘We’ve got John Williams, you mean “hot rod”?’ ‘No, it’s the other John Williams.” “Looks like Hot Plate to me”.



2) Cedric “Cornbread” Maxwell: Are you kidding me? I must have been laughing on the floor for a solid five minutes when I first heard this. I have no idea why they called him “cornbread” and I don’t ever want to know. Just awesome. I also do have an affection for good cornbread. 



1) Gilbert “Hibachi” Arenas: Also here: no clue as to why he decided to call himself “Hibachi” and I don’t want to know. A million bonus points for uniqueness. If you call him “agent zero”, I may never speak to you again. Also helps that he starred at the local high school where I grew up and took summer classes so I’ve always been a fan.



Honorable Mention: Shawn “the Matrix” Marion, Mitch “the Rock” Richmond. 


Best Nicknames that Never Were: Anthony Mason should have been called “Truck” (self-explanatory). Steph Curry should be “Spicy”. Not that clever, but unique and strangely fitting. Reggie Miller should have been “Assassin”. 



Who are your top 10?

[heatdawg]

#1 - AI, "The Answer"

[jalen1255]

Vince Carter- Half man half amazing

Larry Johnson- Grandmama



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[brothertona]

Dominique Wilkins "The Human Highlight Film"

Kobe Bryant - "Black Mamba"

[Chris P]

Penny Hardaway

[schism]

The Reign Man

[theLUCKYshow]

The Joker and the Don.

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[mc1]

The Microwave

[PKIPP]

"Big" Ben Wallace- and honorable mention, not really a nickname but a slogan commonly associated with him was "Fear the fro"

Chauncey "Mr Big Shot" Billups

Richard "Rip" Hamilton

"Sheed" Wallace

Darko Milicic aka "the Human Victory Cigar"


Had to show my '04 Pistons some love.

[kingofsnake]

Joe Barry Carroll "Joe Barely Cares."

Also Gary Payton "The Glove."

[PKIPP]

Originally Posted by kingofsnake

Joe Barry Carroll "Joe Barely Cares."

Also Gary Payton "The Glove."

The Glove is easily in my top 5

[soey10]

Lebron "King" James
Gary "The Glove" Payton
Rik "The Dunkin Dutchman" Smits
Hakeem "The Dream" Olajuwon
Jason "White Chocolate" Williams


The Worst

Kenyon "K-Mart" Martin
Paul "PG-13" George

[drobfan8]

When Kawhi was a Spur and known as the Klaw.

The Mailman

Ason Kidd

Smoooooooovvvveee Sam Perkins

Hard to beat what the players in Jordan's circle called him The Black Cat

[spurs50fan]

Dang no love for the Iceman?

With the iconic poster

[yiguiri2002]

Corey "Bad Porn" Maggette

Everyone else is going for second

[spurs50fan]

Chocolate Thunder also up there imo

[sebreg]

It's a bit spiteful but PG-13% makes me laugh.

[Harper]

Pink panther? Spider from split? The waiter?
Clyde the glide
Iceman is top 3
The worm.
Captain Kirk

[jmmintz]

the Round Mound of Rebound

/thread

[kingofsnake]

Also Kawhi Leonard "Kingslayer."

[KingInTheWest]

ahh! I forgot about Big Smooth and the Microwave. Those should have probably cracked the top 10. Never heard that Darko nickname before but it's pretty damn good.

[88horsepower]

Originally Posted by brothertona

Dominique Wilkins "The Human Highlight Film"

Kobe Bryant - "Black Mamba"

These.

[sportzluvr1]

Durant could have 2 of the GOAT nicknames, he just doesn’t want to embrace them for some reason.

-The Slim Reaper
-The Durantula

[unclemonkey]

Did I miss...

David Thompson--- Skywalker

Dr J

Dollar---- Bill Bradley

The Glide --- Clyde Drexler

Bad News--- Marvin Barnes

[unclemonkey]

From the ABA... I remember Paultz and Hillman. The others are a mystery but needed mentioning.

Big Whopper--- Billy Paultz

Dr Dunk--- Darnell Hillman

Kentucky Rifle--- Glen Combs

Dirty Dingus--- George Carter

Checkmate--- Warren Davis