Can a man and woman be friends?

[Boo]

Let's hear some ex-wife/ex-husband friend stories.

[Braswell10]

Originally Posted by asujbl

It’s not

Us normal folks can be normal

These other dudes are so good looking apparently that they have to bang everything

They can’t just grab a beer or go to a concert without it ending up in the sheets

Honest question, because after reading everyone’s posts, I still think we all have a different definition of ‘friend’.

In your example of grabbing a beer or going to a concert, why go with a female, when you can go with a guy friend? Is it because you prefer feminine energy over masculine? Or is it because there is some sort of attraction there.

For the ones in here that do say you can be friends with females, here is a hypothetical: You say you are friends, but if the female came and said she wanted a one night stand, how many would honestly say no? I have a hard time believing most guys would say no, ESPECIALLY if they are not in a relationship.

Therefore, there is some level of attraction there. No dude is becoming good friends with a women he does not find even remotely attractive.

[ksemmel]

Originally Posted by mike1498

I actually had this discussion recently.

The answer is absolutely not if you are a man.

The answer is possibly as a female.

Personally I've never seen a man friendzone a woman. And I truthfully think there is a reason for this.

Absolutely not? If you enjoy the friendship and respect the individual how could you absolutely not be friends with them?

This entire thread is baffling to me. While some guys may feel they cannot be friends with a female, that isn't a universal thought. One of my best friends is a female and she will likely be in my wedding when that time comes. My gf has met her, and they have hung out numerous times and developed their own friendship as well.

[mike1498]

Originally Posted by Braswell10

Honest question, because after reading everyone’s posts, I still think we all have a different definition of ‘friend’.

In your example of grabbing a beer or going to a concert, why go with a female, when you can go with a guy friend? Is it because you prefer femine energy over masculine? Or is it because there is some sort of attraction there.

For the ones in here that do say you can be friends with females, here is a hypothetical: You say you are friends, but if the female came and said she wanted a one night stand, how many would honestly say no? I have a hard time believing most guys would say no, ESPECIALLY if they are not in a relationship.

Therefore, there is some level of attraction there. No dude is becoming good friends with a women he does not find even remotely attractive.

Don't think this could be explained any more clear. What do women do for fun that I can't do with a guy? Unless someone on their forum is getting their finger nails done or something extremely feminine, like why are you choosing to be friends with a female?

Yes you can be "friendly" with women. But there's a difference between being "friendly" and being friends.

[ksemmel]

Originally Posted by Braswell10

Honest question, because after reading everyone’s posts, I still think we all have a different definition of ‘friend’.

In your example of grabbing a beer or going to a concert, why go with a female, when you can go with a guy friend? Is it because you prefer feminine energy over masculine? Or is it because there is some sort of attraction there.

For the ones in here that do say you can be friends with females, here is a hypothetical: You say you are friends, but if the female came and said she wanted a one night stand, how many would honestly say no? I have a hard time believing most guys would say no, ESPECIALLY if they are not in a relationship.

Therefore, there is some level of attraction there. No dude is becoming good friends with a women he does not find even remotely attractive.

This is such an broad opinion that you are stating as fact. As I mentioned above, I have two very close female friends. One I don't find even remotely attractive and the other isn't bad looking but she just isn't physically the type I am attracted to. I have hung out with both of them over 30 times each where it was just us, and never did I think about trying and I would 100% have shot it down if they tried.

Why does it have to be a feminine energy thing? Can't men just appreciate a female for the person she is and what she brings to the table in a friendship without anything sexual happening or being thought about?

[mike1498]

Originally Posted by ksemmel

Absolutely not? If you enjoy the friendship and respect the individual how could you absolutely not be friends with them?

This entire thread is baffling to me. While some guys may feel they cannot be friends with a female, that isn't a universal thought. One of my best friends is a female and she will likely be in my wedding when that time comes. My gf has met her, and they have hung out numerous times and developed their own friendship as well.

Maybe I'm speaking out of place but I feel the first thing men notice are "looks" in a woman. If that is what men unconsciously notice first, then really what's creating that "interest" is actually attraction (or at least to a certain degree).

Obviously this doesn't apply to a work situation and stuff like that. That's where you are "friendly" with the people you work with.

If you really prefer to hang out with women instead of men you either are..
1) feminine
2) hang out with very masculine women

Like what other reason do you intentionally choose to hang out with a female? What I do with my guy friends is a lot different than my girlfriend. Why? Cause my girlfriend like most other more feminine females don't enjoy doing the things my guy friends do.

[nosignofland]

So, for all the members who think you can't be friends with women if you're a guy, do you think bisexual men can't have ANY friends in that case?

Maybe some men can't be friends with women -- and I feel sorry for them. But, as countless examples have shown in this thread, others can.

Yikes.

[ksemmel]

Originally Posted by mike1498

Maybe I'm speaking out of place but I feel the first thing men notice are "looks" in a woman. If that is what men unconsciously notice first, then really what's creating that "interest" is actually attraction (or at least to a certain degree).

Obviously this doesn't apply to a work situation and stuff like that. That's where you are "friendly" with the people you work with.

If you really prefer to hang out with women instead of men you either are..
1) feminine
2) hang out with very masculine women

Like what other reason do you intentionally choose to hang out with a female? What I do with my guy friends is a lot different than my girlfriend. Why? Cause my girlfriend like most other more feminine females don't enjoy doing the things my guy friends do.

Yes, and I agree with the top part that men do generally notice looks of a female first. I mean, in person anyway, you are going to see someone before you talk to them. But I don't base my friends off of looks. I base it off of morals, principles, common interests, and other qualities I want to surround myself with.

What reason do I intentionally choose to hang out with a female friend? For the same reason I hang out with my male friends. I enjoy their company, I respect the person and the friendship and having a friendship with the person brings me happiness.

If you truly feel like you are not able to have a friendship with a female that is your call and your decision. But it is 100% possible to have a friendship with an individual of the opposite sex, and you are probably closing the door on what could be some great friendships a lot of of good times just because they are female.

[jplarson]

What I learned in this thread if I'm a guy who is friends with a women according to Men:

Originally Posted by Braswell10

Either you hate yourself

Originally Posted by Braswell10

you are a little fruity yourself

Originally Posted by Braswell10

you prefer feminine energy over masculine?

Originally Posted by Braswell10

there is some sort of attraction there.

Originally Posted by mike1498

you either are..
1) feminine

Originally Posted by mike1498

you either are..
2) hang out with very masculine women

Reasons why men and women can't be friends according to Men:

Originally Posted by Braswell10

What could they possibly have in common?

Originally Posted by Braswell10

Men and women aren’t meant to be friends

Originally Posted by jcmel323

Trying to avoid it because i know they will cross the line.

Originally Posted by NotGoSportsBall

if they are seen in public together the rumor mill spins. Not worth the headache.

Originally Posted by Braswell10

here is a hypothetical: You say you are friends, but if the female came and said she wanted a one night stand, how many would honestly say no? I have a hard time believing most guys would say no, ESPECIALLY if they are not in a relationship.

Originally Posted by Braswell10

No dude is becoming good friends with a women he does not find even remotely attractive.

Originally Posted by mike1498

What do women do for fun that I can't do with a guy?

Originally Posted by mike1498

Unless someone on their forum is getting their finger nails done or something extremely feminine

Originally Posted by mike1498

Like what other reason do you intentionally choose to hang out with a female? What I do with my guy friends is a lot different than my girlfriend. Why? Cause my girlfriend like most other more feminine females don't enjoy doing the things my guy friends do.

Sound about right to all the Men here? If women like football they are masculine? If I like home renovation shows I'm fruity?

[mike1498]

Originally Posted by ksemmel

Yes, and I agree with the top part that men do generally notice looks of a female first. I mean, in person anyway, you are going to see someone before you talk to them. But I don't base my friends off of looks. I base it off of morals, principles, common interests, and other qualities I want to surround myself with.

What reason do I intentionally choose to hang out with a female friend? For the same reason I hang out with my male friends. I enjoy their company, I respect the person and the friendship and having a friendship with the person brings me happiness.

If you truly feel like you are not able to have a friendship with a female that is your call and your decision. But it is 100% possible to have a friendship with an individual of the opposite sex, and you are probably closing the door on what could be some great friendships a lot of of good times just because they are female.

While I respect your opinion, I have met very few females that share the same interests that I have. Even if there were a few, I could just do those with men anyway. And male friends are easier to relate with (at least that's how I feel).

My girlfriend is the farthest from controlling, so it's not that I can't hang out with other women.

But if you're willing to admit that mans usual first thing to judge is based on looks (even if it's unconscious), and I do the things I can't do with my girlfriend with guy friends then what is the benefit of a true friendship with a female?

While I don't believe my girlfriend would be threatened, there's no point of making her feel threatened either. Especially when I feel I gain nothing from being friends with a female.

This is a long winded answer of saying I genuinely don't see any benefit of a true friendship with a women that I don't get from my guy friends or girlfriend. Like I don't feel I'm missing anything. And I don't want not to put myself in a position of risking anything.

I guess you feel like you are missing something without having friends who are females that aren't your girlfriend/wife.

[ksemmel]

Originally Posted by mike1498

While I respect your opinion, I have met very few females that share the same interests that I have. Even if there were a few, I could just do those with men anyway. And male friends are easier to relate with (at least that's how I feel).

My girlfriend is the farthest from controlling, so it's not that I can't hang out with other women.

But if you're willing to admit that men's usual first thing usually is to judge based on looks, and I do the things I can't do with my girlfriend with guy friends then what is the benefit of a true friendship with a female.

While I don't believe my girlfriend would be threatened, there's no point of making her feel threatened either.

This is a long winded answer of saying I genuinely don't see any benefit of a true friendship with a women that I don't get from my guy friends or girlfriend. Like I don't feel I'm missing anything. And I'm not putting myself in a position of risking anything.

I guess you feel like you are missing something without having friends who are females that aren't your girlfriend.

So are all of your guy friends the exact same person or does each friend bring different strengths, values, experiences, conversations, etc to the table? That is the same thing with male and female friends. Some of my guy friends I golf with, so don't golf. Some like sports, some don't. Some are married with a family, some aren't.

You asked, "what is the benefit of a true friendship with a female". Simple answer, the same benefits of being friends with a guy. You enjoy their company and the friendship enhances your life.

Again, if you feel that you can't have enough common traits to be friends with any single female you aren't dating, that is your decision. But the question was can you be friends with a female, and the answer is yes, you can. You may not feel like you want to, but a lot of people can without anything sexual being present.

[mike1498]

Originally Posted by ksemmel

So are all of your guy friends the exact same person or does each friend bring different strengths, values, experiences, conversations, etc to the table? That is the same thing with male and female friends. Some of my guy friends I golf with, so don't golf. Some like sports, some don't. Some are married with a family, some aren't.

You asked, "what is the benefit of a true friendship with a female". Simple answer, the same benefits of being friends with a guy. You enjoy their company and the friendship enhances your life.

Again, if you feel that you can't have enough common traits to be friends with any single female you aren't dating, that is your decision. But the question was can you be friends with a female, and the answer is yes, you can. You may not feel like you want to, but a lot of people can without anything sexual being present.

Kinda an interesting response. I'd actually say my guy friends are extremely similar to each other and myself. And my girlfriend is completely opposite of me (which is partially why I enjoy her so much). So I personally can't relate to much of what you posted.

And maybe that's why we view it differently

[ksemmel]

Originally Posted by mike1498

Kinda an interesting response. I'd actually say my guy friends are extremely similar to each other and myself. And my girlfriend is completely opposite of me (which is partially why I enjoy her so much). So I personally can't relate to much of what you posted.

And maybe that's why we view it differently

That probably explains the different view points. My biggest issue is what someone quoted before with you and Bras kind of insulting men with female friends.

My closest male friend - likes rival sports teams, has different political views, has a family with kids (I have no kids and am not married) and had a much different upbringing than I did. We have mutual respect for each other, value each other and would drop anything to be there for the other person (or their family).

Just because you don't have the exact same interests doesn't mean that person can't enhance your life, happiness, etc.

My closest female friend is actually coming over to chill with myself and my GF tonight. Can guarantee you we will talk about relationships, work updates, how her move and new living situation is, etc. General things you would talk about with any friend to learn about recent life activities and continue to build that friendship. Yea, I may not go golfing or to a hockey game with her, but if I didn't become friends with her 13 years ago I would have missed out on learning about all the opinions and experiences she has had. During that 13 years, when one of us was single, we would bounce thoughts off of each other to get a perspective from the opposite gender. All of those things are why I value her as a person and appreciate the long and close friendship we have.

[Braswell10]

Originally Posted by mike1498

Maybe I'm speaking out of place but I feel the first thing men notice are "looks" in a woman. If that is what men unconsciously notice first, then really what's creating that "interest" is actually attraction (or at least to a certain degree).

Obviously this doesn't apply to a work situation and stuff like that. That's where you are "friendly" with the people you work with.

If you really prefer to hang out with women instead of men you either are..
1) feminine
2) hang out with very masculine women

Like what other reason do you intentionally choose to hang out with a female? What I do with my guy friends is a lot different than my girlfriend. Why? Cause my girlfriend like most other more feminine females don't enjoy doing the things my guy friends do.

This 100%. In my experience, the men who tend to have female friends (without intimacy at some level) are more feminine every time. If you are happy with that, there is nothing wrong with it. It doesn’t surprise me that many believe you can be friends with females, simply because the world is slowly emasculating men.

Originally Posted by ksemmel

Yes, and I agree with the top part that men do generally notice looks of a female first. I mean, in person anyway, you are going to see someone before you talk to them. But I don't base my friends off of looks. I base it off of morals, principles, common interests, and other qualities I want to surround myself with.

What reason do I intentionally choose to hang out with a female friend? For the same reason I hang out with my male friends. I enjoy their company, I respect the person and the friendship and having a friendship with the person brings me happiness.

If you truly feel like you are not able to have a friendship with a female that is your call and your decision. But it is 100% possible to have a friendship with an individual of the opposite sex, and you are probably closing the door on what could be some great friendships a lot of of good times just because they are female.

You are 100% entitled to your opinion, but as I said before, women are polar opposites of men. Yes, you may meet a girl who likes football, but you can only talk about football a few times before having to actually talk about real stuff.

Women love to gossip, and that’s a big reason why men and women can’t be friends, because that’s not how guys are. Also, women are more emotional, while men use logic. That’s why they are perfect for marriage because they complete each other.

Women live in an entirely different world than men, so how are we suppose to relate to each other? Why would I talk to a female about anything when I can talk to my boys who more likely then not may have went through the exact same thing.

If I need a women’s point of view, I will ask my SO.

Originally Posted by ksemmel

That probably explains the different view points. My biggest issue is what someone quoted before with you and Bras kind of insulting men with female friends.

My closest male friend - likes rival sports teams, has different political views, has a family with kids (I have no kids and am not married) and had a much different upbringing than I did. We have mutual respect for each other, value each other and would drop anything to be there for the other person (or their family).

Just because you don't have the exact same interests doesn't mean that person can't enhance your life, happiness, etc.

My closest female friend is actually coming over to chill with myself and my GF tonight. Can guarantee you we will talk about relationships, work updates, how her move and new living situation is, etc. General things you would talk about with any friend to learn about recent life activities and continue to build that friendship. Yea, I may not go golfing or to a hockey game with her, but if I didn't become friends with her 13 years ago I would have missed out on learning about all the opinions and experiences she has had. During that 13 years, when one of us was single, we would bounce thoughts off of each other to get a perspective from the opposite gender. All of those things are why I value her as a person and appreciate the long and close friendship we have.

You may not want to have sex with her, but can she say the same? You are only speaking on your point of view. Again, I don’t get why your GF or guy friends can’t provide you with the advice you seek.

[Braswell10]

Originally Posted by jplarson

What I learned in this thread if I'm a guy who is friends with a women according to Men:








Reasons why men and women can't be friends according to Men:











Sound about right to all the Men here? If women like football they are masculine? If I like home renovation shows I'm fruity?

/thread

[ksemmel]

Originally Posted by Braswell10

This 100%. In my experience, the men who tend to have female friends (without intimacy at some level) are more feminine every time. If you are happy with that, there is nothing wrong with it. It doesn’t surprise me that many believe you can be friends with females, simply because the world is slowly emasculating men.



You are 100% entitled to your opinion, but as I said before, women are polar opposites of men. Yes, you may meet a girl who likes football, but you can only talk about football a few times before having to actually talk about real stuff.

Women love to gossip, and that’s a big reason why men and women can’t be friends, because that’s not how guys are. Also, women are more emotional, while men use logic. That’s why they are perfect for marriage because they complete each other.

Women live in an entirely different world than men, so how are we suppose to relate to each other? Why would I talk to a female about anything when I can talk to my boys who more likely then not may have went through the exact same thing.

If I need a women’s point of view, I will ask my SO.



You may not want to have sex with her, but can she say the same? You are only speaking on your point of view. Again, I don’t get why your GF or guy friends can’t provide you with the advice you seek.

Massive overgeneralization here. As a whole do women gossip more than men, probably. But you are staying women as a whole saying they are all like that. I also don’t have friends just for my benefit of getting advice. And I think we may differ here. I have friends because I enjoy who they are as a person, male or female.

You say men and women can’t be friends. They can. Not in your world maybe, but they absolutely can be friends.

It is a little alarming that you overgeneralize so much and insult guys that have female friends. If you can’t or don’t want to, that’s your choice completely. But just because you can’t doesn’t mean all men can’t.

[Braswell10]

Originally Posted by ksemmel

Massive overgeneralization here. As a whole do women gossip more than men, probably. But you are staying women as a whole saying they are all like that. I also don’t have friends just for my benefit of getting advice. And I think we may differ here. I have friends because I enjoy who they are as a person, male or female.

You say men and women can’t be friends. They can. Not in your world maybe, but they absolutely can be friends.

It is a little alarming that you overgeneralize so much and insult guys that have female friends. If you can’t or don’t want to, that’s your choice completely. But just because you can’t doesn’t mean all men can’t.

I’m only speaking on my experiences and what I see out in the world around us. Nothing more, nothing less.

[ksemmel]

Since the people saying no are adamant that they are right and guys with female friends are either feminine or secretly want to sleep with the friend, I’ll leave it at this.

I value people for who they are as a person. If you are a good person, I enjoy your company and I know you will have my back, I consider you a friend. Make or female, if I become very close with someone, then I value that relationship. Every one of my friends has made my life better in his/her own unique way, and I am appreciative of that.

[jcardstore]

I don't think I would be able to have a close individual friendship with a woman, just like a couple other people said I just don't know what we would have in common.

Being friendly, having women in a friend group, that's all fine but like hanging out alone?

I could go play pickup ball or some other random group activity with a woman / multiple women but taking someone to a movie or concert or going out to eat/drinks? Kinda sus

[Siberian13]

All my female friends love golf, poker, football and collecting sweaty dudes on cardboard. You guys just need to finder better female friends. I also love apples, peaches and bananas.

[hairysasquatch]

I am invoking my Fifth Amendment privilege.

[duron]

Originally Posted by jcardstore

Being friendly, having women in a friend group, that's all fine but like hanging out alone?

Yea that’s kind of insane, especially once you hit a certain age / are in a serious relationship.

I could see “getting away with” stuff like this in my 20s, but that’s about it. Even back then it was on the borderline, in my experience.

[Siberian13]

I would post some Bill Burr but think people would get offended based on some of the replies above.

[eastbayak]

Originally Posted by oldgoldy97

Both married, is it possible or appropriate for a man and woman to be friends?

Yes. I'm a married man with female (married) friends. My wife is a married woman with male (married) friends.

oldgoldy97, did wifey (or hubby) get mad at you? If so, stop sending flirtatious DMs to your married, opposite-sex (or same-sex) friends.

[TheFrenzy]

I think one of the most overlooked factor is how dependent married / married friendships are on both marriages staying strong.

I’ve seen too many cases where one marriage starts failing and suddenly the individual starts shifting their trust, emotional vulnerability, and feelings over to the opposite gender friend. It doesn’t always lead to anything physical (but it often does), but it usually does mean that in one way or another the “pure friendship” is over.