Live updates from up 36k feet in the sky

TheHeel · 08-23-2023, 06:54 PM

I am sitting next to a skunk of a woman. She is sick, fidgety, and smells like poo after coming back from the 4x6 bathroom. She put her rear in my face sitting back down.

Currently, the beast has her crusty crocs off and rubbing her callus on her hoof.

If my family wasn't with me, I wouldn't mind a crash.

Updates to come.

Update 1 - 7:03 pm (time might be off due to going through time zones)
Currently rubbing her 24 inch calf. Demonstrates solid flexibility for a larger person. Talking to herself. Now has feet next to tv screen, almost above her head. Many lesions on shin. 2:55 to landing. Wife and kids are in economy if you're wondering why they aren't near me.

Update 2 7:35
Standing up and scratching has her hand down her backside and scratching furiously. Im leaning as far away as possible.
I am not making this up.

Update 3 7:46
Her leg is higher than her head. Think of a cat linking itself with the leg up but this one scratching all over on the inner thigh. Wtf
Thoughts and prayers are appreciated

Update 4 8:42
Standing in aisle very close to someone who else. Has tp stuck to her shoe.

Uodate 5 9:33
28 minutes until touchdown. Still scratching like the dickens.

discodanman45 · 08-23-2023, 07:00 PM

Good luck on joining the mile high club!

Boo · 08-23-2023, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheHeel

I am sitting next to a skunk of a woman. She is sick, fidgety, and smells like poo after coming back from the 4x6 bathroom. She put her rear in my face sitting back down.

Currently, the beast has her crusty crocs off and rubbing her callus on her hoof.

If my family wasn't with me, I wouldn't mind a crash.

Updates to come.

Boo · 08-23-2023, 07:03 PM

How close was her arse to your nose?

TheHeel · 08-23-2023, 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by discodanman45

Good luck on joining the mile high club!

That's not right.

TheHeel · 08-23-2023, 07:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boo

How close was her arse to your nose?

I was temporarily blinded by the stench. Eyes became watery due to the poo. Before I was blinded, she was probably 2 ft away.

Not even joking she just slid her hand down her backside and some farts came out. Truly disgusting.

glen87 · 08-23-2023, 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheHeel

I was temporarily blinded by the stench. Eyes became watery due to the poo. Before I was blinded, she was probably 2 ft away.

Not even joking she just slid her hand down her backside and some farts came out. Truly disgusting.

jdandns · 08-23-2023, 07:25 PM

Heel has slipped the surly bonds of Earth and danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings. Sunward, he climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth of sun-split clouds. He's done a hundred things you have not dreamed of, wheeled and soared and swung high in the sunlit silence! Steadily, the rough and calloused feet of fate draw ever nearer to his face...

JeremyNick · 08-23-2023, 07:40 PM

I’d love to see her live blog about you.

TheFrenzy · 08-23-2023, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheHeel

I am sitting next to a skunk of a woman. She is sick, fidgety, and smells like poo...crusty crocs off...Talking to herself...Many lesions on shin...Standing up and scratching has her hand down her backside and scratching furiously.

What you are describing is Patient Zero.

God help us.

Boo · 08-23-2023, 08:04 PM

oldgoldy97 · 08-23-2023, 08:27 PM

I timed this thread perfectly with my dinner.

Here I thought we were friends

TheFrenzy · 08-23-2023, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oldgoldy97

I timed this thread perfectly with my dinner.

Here I thought we were friends

What's the going rate for your signature?

BostonNut · 08-23-2023, 08:30 PM

Just start moaning. See what she does.

Boo · 08-23-2023, 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheHeel

I am sitting next to a skunk of a woman. She is sick, fidgety, and smells like poo after coming back from the 4x6 bathroom. She put her rear in my face sitting back down.

Currently, the beast has her crusty crocs off and rubbing her callus on her hoof.

If my family wasn't with me, I wouldn't mind a crash.

Updates to come.

Update 1 - 7:03 pm (time might be off due to going through time zones)
Currently rubbing her 24 inch calf. Demonstrates solid flexibility for a larger person. Talking to herself. Now has feet next to tv screen, almost above her head. Many lesions on shin. 2:55 to landing. Wife and kids are in economy if you're wondering why they aren't near me.

Update 2 7:35
Standing up and scratching has her hand down her backside and scratching furiously. Im leaning as far away as possible.
I am not making this up.

Update 3 7:46
Her leg is higher than her head. Think of a cat linking itself with the leg up but this one scratching all over on the inner thigh. Wtf
Thoughts and prayers are appreciated

Update 4 8:42
Standing in aisle very close to someone who else. Has tp stuck to her shoe.

NCtheBBcradle · 08-23-2023, 08:58 PM

Truly, not many people envy Prigozhin....but this man TheHeel does.

xbignick · 08-23-2023, 09:18 PM

How did you break it to the ex-wife?

oldgoldy97 · 08-23-2023, 10:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheFrenzy

What's the going rate for your signature?

At least a Howell and two McKees.

pejc300 · 08-23-2023, 11:00 PM

Outstanding thread. Very enjoyable.

oldgoldy97 · 08-23-2023, 11:12 PM

I may change it to “pure singles buyers are a blight on the hobby”.

TheHeel · 08-24-2023, 12:46 AM

Final update
There were several passengers who came up to me when we left the plane and stated they thought she pooped herself. Two of the flight attendants apologized to me.

Disaster of a 6 hour plane ride.

Thank you for your comments. Too tired to respond. Bed time

Heel out

SleeperCards · 08-24-2023, 07:04 AM

Sounds like her pinworms were confused by the changes in time zones.

jlzinck · 08-24-2023, 11:15 AM

Did you have a mask on?

And unless she asks you "Have you ever thought about killing yourself and if so how would you do it?" I have your ride trumped.

TheHeel · 08-24-2023, 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glen87

Quote:

Originally Posted by jdandns

Heel has slipped the surly bonds of Earth and danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings. Sunward, he climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth of sun-split clouds. He's done a hundred things you have not dreamed of, wheeled and soared and swung high in the sunlit silence! Steadily, the rough and calloused feet of fate draw ever nearer to his face...

What a poet!

Quote:

Originally Posted by oldgoldy97

I timed this thread perfectly with my dinner.

Here I thought we were friends

So sorry, my man. I hope you kept it down.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BostonNut

Just start moaning. See what she does.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jlzinck

Did you have a mask on?

And unless she asks you "Have you ever thought about killing yourself and if so how would you do it?" I have your ride trumped.

Wow! Did not go that far but she was talking to herself in between her scratch and sniff sessions. She had a mask on and off throughout the flight. I used a mask as well.

jdandns · 08-24-2023, 07:46 PM

The last line I added based on your, er, memorable experience, sure, but the actual poem was by John Gillespie Magee, Jr., and that's just a part of it.

https://www.reaganlibrary.gov/public...igh-flight.pdf

It was memorably used by Reagan in the memorial to the astronauts lost in Space Shuttle Challenger disaster.

I'm glad you made it through. It did seem touch and go there for a moment. I've only taken a handful of flights in my life (in the air, that is), and so far my worst experience was someone bringing a particularly pungent turkey (I hope) sandwich on board with them in a styrofoam leftover box after a layover.

08-23-2023, 06:54 PM	#1
TheHeel Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 15,409	Live updates from up 36k feet in the sky I am sitting next to a skunk of a woman. She is sick, fidgety, and smells like poo after coming back from the 4x6 bathroom. She put her rear in my face sitting back down. Currently, the beast has her crusty crocs off and rubbing her callus on her hoof. If my family wasn't with me, I wouldn't mind a crash. Updates to come. Update 1 - 7:03 pm (time might be off due to going through time zones) Currently rubbing her 24 inch calf. Demonstrates solid flexibility for a larger person. Talking to herself. Now has feet next to tv screen, almost above her head. Many lesions on shin. 2:55 to landing. Wife and kids are in economy if you're wondering why they aren't near me. Update 2 7:35 Standing up and scratching has her hand down her backside and scratching furiously. Im leaning as far away as possible. I am not making this up. Update 3 7:46 Her leg is higher than her head. Think of a cat linking itself with the leg up but this one scratching all over on the inner thigh. Wtf Thoughts and prayers are appreciated Update 4 8:42 Standing in aisle very close to someone who else. Has tp stuck to her shoe. Uodate 5 9:33 28 minutes until touchdown. Still scratching like the dickens. __________________ 48,230, 52,879, 40,400, 4,780 Pending Deals: Last edited by TheHeel; 08-23-2023 at 09:34 PM.

08-23-2023, 07:00 PM	#2
discodanman45 Member Join Date: Jun 2020 Location: CA Posts: 9,609 danch27	Good luck on joining the mile high club! __________________ Updating my entire collection on Card Ladder. Lots to go... https://www.cardladder.com/showcase/IOBB7AY2qTVVKSgU9Aqj02kfF4I3

08-23-2023, 07:03 PM	#4
Boo Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: PA Posts: 54,903 klay22	How close was her arse to your nose? __________________ I have found that flicking through a few threads on my smartphone is a great way to pass some time while "stocking the pond."Hairy 6/7/12 “ I feel you, brother. Welcome to East Berlin, circa 1963.” Hairy 5/9/20

08-23-2023, 07:25 PM	#8
jdandns Member Join Date: May 2015 Location: Southern California Posts: 22,561	Heel has slipped the surly bonds of Earth and danced the skies on laughter-silvered wings. Sunward, he climbed, and joined the tumbling mirth of sun-split clouds. He's done a hundred things you have not dreamed of, wheeled and soared and swung high in the sunlit silence! Steadily, the rough and calloused feet of fate draw ever nearer to his face... __________________ Fix your hearts.

08-23-2023, 08:04 PM	#11
Boo Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: PA Posts: 54,903 klay22	__________________ I have found that flicking through a few threads on my smartphone is a great way to pass some time while "stocking the pond."Hairy 6/7/12 “ I feel you, brother. Welcome to East Berlin, circa 1963.” Hairy 5/9/20

08-23-2023, 07:40 PM	#9
JeremyNick Banned Join Date: Jun 2019 Posts: 22,801	I’d love to see her live blog about you.

08-23-2023, 08:27 PM	#12
oldgoldy97 Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 49,579	I timed this thread perfectly with my dinner. Here I thought we were friends

08-23-2023, 08:30 PM	#14
BostonNut Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 60,121	Just start moaning. See what she does. __________________ HairySasquatch

08-23-2023, 08:58 PM	#16
NCtheBBcradle Member Join Date: Jun 2014 Posts: 292	Truly, not many people envy Prigozhin....but this man TheHeel does.

08-23-2023, 09:18 PM	#17
xbignick Member Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: New Jersey Posts: 29,305 xxbignick	How did you break it to the ex-wife? __________________ @xxbignick on twitter

08-23-2023, 11:00 PM	#19
pejc300 Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 10,660	Outstanding thread. Very enjoyable.

08-23-2023, 11:12 PM	#20
oldgoldy97 Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 49,579	I may change it to “pure singles buyers are a blight on the hobby”.

08-24-2023, 12:46 AM	#21
TheHeel Member Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 15,409	Final update There were several passengers who came up to me when we left the plane and stated they thought she pooped herself. Two of the flight attendants apologized to me. Disaster of a 6 hour plane ride. Thank you for your comments. Too tired to respond. Bed time Heel out __________________ 48,230, 52,879, 40,400, 4,780 Pending Deals:

08-24-2023, 07:04 AM	#22
SleeperCards Member Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: The Internet Posts: 16,057 SleeperCards Sleeper	Sounds like her pinworms were confused by the changes in time zones. __________________ This was an incredibly hurtful comment...

08-24-2023, 11:15 AM	#23
jlzinck Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Cape Cod, MA Posts: 35,656 jlzinck jl_zinck	Did you have a mask on? And unless she asks you "Have you ever thought about killing yourself and if so how would you do it?" I have your ride trumped. __________________ https://www.youtube.com/user/jonzinck

08-24-2023, 07:46 PM	#25
jdandns Member Join Date: May 2015 Location: Southern California Posts: 22,561	The last line I added based on your, er, memorable experience, sure, but the actual poem was by John Gillespie Magee, Jr., and that's just a part of it. https://www.reaganlibrary.gov/public...igh-flight.pdf It was memorably used by Reagan in the memorial to the astronauts lost in Space Shuttle Challenger disaster. I'm glad you made it through. It did seem touch and go there for a moment. I've only taken a handful of flights in my life (in the air, that is), and so far my worst experience was someone bringing a particularly pungent turkey (I hope) sandwich on board with them in a styrofoam leftover box after a layover. __________________ Fix your hearts.