[GOATcards]

Tim 'The Big Fundamental' Duncan, for one.

I don't think I've heard anything bad about Mr. Russell, Magic, Larry Legend, Shaq 'The Big Aristotle' O'Neal, The Baby Faced Assassin, Joker, Dream Shake,

Here's bad things I hear about the following players:

MJ - helped by a system built around him, so nothing I guess?
um, he has a gambling problem? punched a teammate who surely deserved it? hounded Scott Burrell like a drill sergeant and so surely deserved it?
Um, abandoned his team to go play baseball?
Supposedly told his teammates not to pass to that no-name Center I can't . . . oh, Bill Cartwright? I'unno, would Timmy/Mr.Russell do the same? Sounds like Cartwright deserved it.
Not gonna suck his rod here or anything but remember that time that time his voice cracked on his 'Last Dance' documentary. Something about if you don't like to play that way, then don't play that way . . . break." All theatrics, shameless?

LeBron - we don't need to repeat it all here

Kareem - um,

Wilt - stat padder, cared more about body count than championships, not really into the team concept, used in a famous "how liberty upsets patterns" example by the philosopher Robert Nozick. (Anyone else here read 'Invariances' or 'Philosophical Explanations' or OMG 'The Examined Life' in addition to the excellent 'Anarchy, State and Utopia' which he did after thorough dialectic with left, right, center)

(strain is LA Zkittles)

Kobe - legal troubles, I'unno would Mrs. Russell and Duncan have that issue, uh, inefficient chucker?

Kareem - um, still can't think of anything, like he taunted/belittled Wilt CHUMPerlain that one time? Russell said something about Wilt's '69 "injury" that got the two unfriended for a quarter century. Dayammm!

Bad Boy Pistons - their "Jordan Rules" wouldn't be allowed today amirte, a lot more techs would be called or something. or maybe the game was just different back then

KD - team-hopper, bus-rider, self-proclaimed God?

Jerry West - unfairly but entertainingly portrayed in 'Winning Time,' nothing really ever bad said about him, just the opposite

Lulu Legend in the Making? (he needs at least *one* chip, surely?) - whines to the refs a lot, I mean the refs suck of course, everyone knows it, you have every right to lobby them, I just don't know how effective it is when you're taking out the extra time to berate the idiot refs, where's JVG these days to lend his implicit/explicit support to Luka Legend Already? (been stocking up a lil')

Joker - hates to play defense (leaves it all to Air Gordon and KCP)

Giannis Ah-dedo-koom-bo (pronunciation at BK-R) - getting injured too much lately come playoff time

(LA Kush crossed with Zkittles)

Oscar Robertson - um, the only guy besides Wilt or Russell to win a MVP in that one decade span? averaged a triple double over a whole 5-season span, look it up. should had better support!

KG - too intense, not a real leader or clutch player like Timmy, always in Timmy's shadow given their near-identical birth dates

Ben Wallace Pistons - couldn't prove their worth up against the '05 Timmy Spurs, where he got his 3rd Finals MVP

also, Mr. Russell had too much support, he's just the GOAT on defense or something, also BBIQ GOAT and player-coach bone fides, nothing exceptional there, supported by a system just like Timmy. those f'ing balloons are staying up there